Being a people pleaser can seem harmless or even admirable because it often comes from a place of kindness and a desire to help others. However, it carries several risks that can affect your mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Here are some of the potential downsides:
1. Loss of Self-Identity
- Constantly prioritising others’ needs over your own can make you lose touch with your values, preferences, and goals.
- You may struggle to define who you are outside of your relationships with others.
2. Burnout and Exhaustion
- Always saying “yes” can lead to physical and emotional fatigue, as you’re overextending yourself to meet others’ demands.
- Over time, this can cause chronic stress, anxiety, or even depression.
3. Resentment and Frustration
- Suppressing your own needs and desires can lead to feelings of resentment toward others, even if they are unaware of your struggles.
- You might feel taken advantage of, especially if people come to expect your constant compliance.
4. Poor Boundaries
- A tendency to please others can make it difficult to set healthy boundaries, leaving you vulnerable to being exploited or manipulated.
- Without boundaries, you may find it hard to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being.
5. Impaired Relationships
- People pleasing can create one-sided relationships where your needs are not valued or considered.
- Over time, this dynamic can damage trust and respect in relationships, as others may view you as overly accommodating or inauthentic.
6. Difficulty Making Decisions
- Fear of disappointing others can paralyse decision-making, leading you to avoid choices that might upset someone, even if they are in your best interest.
- You might delay important life changes or opportunities because you’re worried about others’ reactions.
7. Undermining Your Confidence
- Constantly seeking approval from others can erode your self-esteem and make you overly reliant on external validation.
- You might doubt your own worth or abilities without praise or acknowledgement from others.
My suggestions on how to Overcome People-Pleasing Tendencies
- Practice Saying No: Start small by declining minor requests and gradually work up to bigger ones.
- Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits and stick to them.
- Focus on Self-Care: Prioritise your needs and recognise that taking care of yourself allows you to be more present for others.
- Seek Validation Internally: Build confidence by celebrating your achievements and self-worth without relying on others’ opinions.
- Get Comfortable with Discomfort: Accept that you can’t make everyone happy—and that’s okay.
Best wishes,
Leanne